Cosplaying Curvy: The Tale of the Costume Caper

It is September 1st, 2017, despite the 35 degree weather you are thinking of all things autumn and Halloween. You want nothing more then to put on a sweater, watch a scary movie, and pretend that you can totally sleep after watching The Conjuring 2. Yup, that bump in the night is probably hallucinations caused by heat exhaustion and totally not that ghost nun from the movie. Maybe….

After a sleepless night guarding your life against a ghost nun that doesn’t exist you decide you want to start costume shopping. You start early because you are genually excited for Halloween, but also because you are a size XL and you know that the possibility of having to buy your costume online is high due to your size. You want it in time for the plans you are sure you will have come October 31st. First you look at the Spirit Halloween online store, you are elated to find that they have the new Wonder Woman costume! She is your favourite hero and the new costume is the best one, and they have a range of plus sizes. You are not sure about the price though so you make note of it and continue to search elsewhere. The costume is, unfortunately, online only and you know shipping may cost quite a bit. Then, you go onto a range of other online stores, praying to the ghost nun that they also have that Wonder Woman costume. All these stores only have a few Wonder Woman options available and none are the ones you are looking for. You decide to look at the categories for the “normal” sizes and see the costume you are coveting. Time after time on many different websites you see this and your heart starts to drop. Maybe you will just settle for something that fits. You curse the ghost nun, silently as to not incur her wrath, and decide you won’t ask for her help anymore. Maybe you should invest your time in that creepy doll named Anabelle, she gets things done.

Wonder Woman Party City

Wonder Woman Costume Super Center

Wonder Woman Spirit Halloween

It is October now and you haven’t bought anything online. It takes hours to search out the best price and size on Amazon and you would rather just buy something in store because it is easier. You and your partner take a trip to Wal-Mart, not for costumes but the excitement builds when you see the large white inflatable bride welcoming you into the store. You love spooky. You drag your partner over to the costume area, “just for five minutes,” and delve into the costumes. You find the Wonder Woman costume but only in a size large as the biggest size available. Everybody knows that the Halloween costume and the bathing suit industries are involved in a size conspiracy. They are always made smaller; a large costume is actually a medium costume in disguise. Anabelle says this is how Big Halloween controls the masses, you don’t think that is why but you go along with it anyways as Anabelle has a temper. Sensing your disappointment, your partner offers to go costume shopping after your work sometime in the current week.

Finally, that day comes and you are practically bouncing off your seat at work. You had been trying to get work done but you were too distracted so you resort to trying to convince your coworkers that there is an office ghost. It was moderately successful. The work day finishes and you rush out to meet your partner at the car. You decided to stop in at Monster Halloween first. You enter the store and your eyes widen at all the wonderfully creepy Halloween decorations. The room is dark, as you walk further into the store you hear cackling. You want to stay and look at the electronic statues of children’s dolls swinging on an old swing set but you are pulled towards the Halloween costumes. You set Anabelle down before that so you can finally rid your life of this cursed doll. "She is their problem now," you think as you chuckle silently to yourself. Beyond the decorations, the room opens up to reveal the multitude of costumes in the store. You find a wall close to the entrance that has some plus sized costumes, but they are only flapper costumes and they look a little small to be plus sized. You keep looking, a feeling of dread coming over you when you only find costumes that you know you won’t fit into.

No luck. You are ready to leave, you dread having to look through at least five other stores just to find a costume that fits and isn’t offensive. Your partner beckons you to at least look at the very back of the store before you go. It is there, at the very back corner of the store, hidden beside the dressing rooms, is a 4 foot section with costumes that will fit you! However, all the costumes are sexy costumes so you can’t buy a non-sexy costume unless you made it yourself or bought a man’s costume. You make a mental note to become insufferable in the next few weeks as you build up your ego so you can wear whatever you choose with confidence. A quarter of the costumes have to be taken out of consideration because they are offensive, leading you to believe that retailers push you to buy culturally appropriated costumes by making so little options in your size.

Ghost Nun don't want NUN of your shit.

Your heart jumps for there, down at the very bottom of the wall hidden away from society, is the Wonder Woman costume you were looking for! You search for your size only to find out that the general size of the costume is 16-22. You purse your brows in confusion, a size 16 is definitely not the same as a size 22. You decide to try it on anyways, despite the growing feeling of concern deep in the pit of your stomach. The attendant puts you in a small dark room with a long mirror laying on the floor. You have the top part and the bottom part of the costume, nothing else. You may steal it, for all she knows you are some 26-year-old hooligan and not the 80-year-old at heart you think you are.

You successfully put the top on and find that you need to alter the way you put the bottom on as it would not fit across the part of the hips it was made to fit across. You are not a size 22, you are a size 16 with hips that don’t lie (suck it Shakira). You thank the Halloween lords that you have the body type you do because you have a smaller waist and you can put the skirt on a little higher up, you know a different body type would give you more troubles and you know that you would not be able to fit in this costume if you were a size 22. The picture of the girl on the front of the costume bag is a lie, after trying it on you know she wouldn’t actually be able to completely fit in the costume the way it is made. Contrary to popular belief, a size 16 to 22 is not a one size fits all situation. You buy it and then spend the rest of the night figuring out what to wear under the skirt, you want it to fit and not look stupid so you don’t show your god-given Shakira to the rest of the world. Despite the trouble, you are glad you at least found a costume that you like and that fits.

Bag of Lies

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This story was an actual experience of mine while costume shopping for Halloween 2017. Except for the parts about ghost nuns and creepy dolls. I am smart enough to know you never interact with ghost nuns and creepy dolls. I find it aggravating there are more options at certain retailers for sexier teen and pre-teen costumes then there are general costumes for plus sized women. More of a conversation on how the Halloween costume industry treats size is needed. Dressing up should be fun and not a test in body confidence. Halloween night is all of beach body season combined into one sexy- insert whatever costume here, and that takes away from the fun of the holiday. Selling people smaller costumes on a holiday dedicated to free candy is the true horror story here and I am ready to put a stake through its heart.

General note: The picture of the ghost nun is from the Conjuring 2 movie.